do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
