you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize