So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
