More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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