I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Found the puke drawer
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize