I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
