def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
