Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize