omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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