i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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