I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
