she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
