Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
