So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
