I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
