Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
