the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize