My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
