the condom got lost in my hair
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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