Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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