Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
