Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
