Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
