You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
