Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
is wine microwaveable?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
