Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
