Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
