that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
