I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Randomize
