He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
