I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
