Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
