Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
