I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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