Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
