Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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