its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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