it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just gift wrapped bread.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
