You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
