spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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