would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
