I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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