There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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