If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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