I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
