Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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