can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
