Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
