ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
