Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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