Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
My vagina is very pro this idea
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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