separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
