There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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