i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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