I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I still have a little drunk in my system
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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