How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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