He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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