is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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