i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
There's always time for handjobs
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
