I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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