We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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