RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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