im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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