I wanna passion pit in your ass
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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