His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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