fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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