at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
