im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
